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We recognized until then to be this independent, outgoing girl with an “optimistic character,” fixing problems by myself without relying on my man that I might have forced myself. Possibly I had been attempting to show one thing, in this society where individuals expect girls become submissive and quiet.

It’s been 2 yrs since our relationship ended. If just I possibly could state my understanding brought me personally complete freedom from sex norms or objectives of other people, however it didn’t. We had doubts about whether I happened to be sufficient a gf to him due to the fact I became interested in remaining an outbound, separate girl. The greater we discussed our future, the greater afraid we became that I might never be their perfect life partner. I maintained fretting about whether i possibly could satisfy his buddies or moms and dads’ expectations of a “good girl.”

My worries are not the reason that is only parted means, nonetheless they had been undoubtedly one factor.

Dating him, yet others before that, has permitted me personally to see my self-contradictions and insecurities. I will be self-conscious of my independency and womanhood. I will be saturated in contradictory desires, planning to be personal self, whatever which may be, but in addition planning to fulfill South Korean society’s criteria on which a appropriate girl should be. Most of the social people i have met in school, at workplaces, also in the home have actually affected me personally. It dawns on me personally that my battle is not pretty much fighting South Korean men’s expectations of exactly exactly how females need to act. We discovered that i must fight personal objectives for myself, too.

I’m nevertheless learning on how to balance society’s needs on ladies and my interior characteristics. Nonetheless, now we’m certain we don’t need certainly to suppress my ‘girlish’ impulses in wanting to be a separate girl. It’s Valentine’s Day, and I also have always been enjoying making chocolate on my personal. We no more categorize this task as being a womanly task. It’s just a spare time activity, that is all. We additionally observe that alleged girlish habits like aegyo and naesung aren’t the protect of females. Guys may do these plain things as well as females.

The revelations on my part may be uncomfortable for a few South Koreans to keep. (they may state chocolate that is making a woman’s pastime and males never do aegyo or naesung.) But i have to thank the South Korean males we have dated — also individuals who have been therefore critical of me — for leading me down this course of self-discovery. And I also enjoy fulfilling the man that is next can help me find out more about whom i really have always been.